Dreaming of a life without high-functioning anxiety

High functioning anxiety. I can feel it right now. Punching into my train of thought, trying to slow the words, steady the flow, drop an anchor on this blog post, prevent me from stepping out and declaring that it's even there at all. "Hide me!" whispers anxiety, "Don't let them know I'm here." As if that might make it easier for me to cope. Somehow. Push it away, sweep it under the … [Read more...]

When anxiety is your comfort zone

Anxiety. I've often wondered how my life would be without it. Free, easy, relaxed ... I'm getting butterflies in my stomach just imagining it. Much as I long for relief from the twisted tightness I've come to know so well over the years, the thought of freedom immediately makes me feel anxious. Weird, isn't it? Or maybe not. Anxiety is my comfort zone The thing is, anxiety has been a … [Read more...]

Re-defining ‘Quiet’ – exploring the depth and abilities of the quiet ones

When I was young I developed a severe dislike for the word 'quiet'. To me, this word felt hugely suffocating; needlessly smothering me over and over again each time it was spoken. For every person who has ever described me in this way (and there have been many), I'm not even sure anyone realised how insulting and damaging it felt. Each time, it was as if my true self was being pushed … [Read more...]

What do you see when you close your eyes? Or do you feel it like me …

"What do you see when you close your eyes?"  Um, nothing. Blackness. Sometimes some indistinguishable furry shapes. Why? What do you see? I was shocked when I first heard my partner Simon tell me what he could see. He could see all kinds of incredible scenarios, and zoom in and out to the minutest detail. He could visualise a scenario, and then decide he wanted a particular aspect to change … [Read more...]