Dreaming of a life without high-functioning anxiety

High functioning anxiety. I can feel it right now. Punching into my train of thought, trying to slow the words, steady the flow, drop an anchor on this blog post, prevent me from stepping out and declaring that it's even there at all. "Hide me!" whispers anxiety, "Don't let them know I'm here." As if that might make it easier for me to cope. Somehow. Push it away, sweep it under the … [Read more...]

Nobody can save you, but you – Take back your power to tackle anxiety

When it comes to tackling anxiety, I have tried many approaches. As a child, I pushed it away. I hated the feeling that I was weird, different, and a little bit too quiet and shy. Instead, I placed a huge amount of pressure on myself to fit in and be like everybody else. It didn’t work. As a teenager my anxiety held me back, and I became depressed. I spoke to my doctor about it, and he … [Read more...]

What is an anxiety-reducing lifestyle

Every day you go about your life, living in a way that makes sense to you. You get up, you eat, you breathe, you do stuff, and you sleep. We all do. The way you choose to go about your days – the things you choose to do – make up your lifestyle. This includes your daily routines, your habits, what you eat and drink, your work, your free time … What is an anxiety-reducing lifestyle? For … [Read more...]

When anxiety is your comfort zone

Anxiety. I've often wondered how my life would be without it. Free, easy, relaxed ... I'm getting butterflies in my stomach just imagining it. Much as I long for relief from the twisted tightness I've come to know so well over the years, the thought of freedom immediately makes me feel anxious. Weird, isn't it? Or maybe not. Anxiety is my comfort zone The thing is, anxiety has been a … [Read more...]

Anxiety versus Freedom – or do we need them both?

Have you ever experienced freedom whilst feeling anxious? Is that even possible??? I ask you this question because freedom is something I have been thinking about a lot lately, and especially so these past two days since joining Natalie Sisson's 10 day Freedom Blog Challenge. In yesterday's post I made some important realisations. I was able to see that throughout my life, in all I have been … [Read more...]

Are we there yet? Or is freedom actually the impossible dream …

I consider myself to be quite good at achieving my goals. Some take longer than others, that's for sure, but I rarely find myself standing still ... I'm always moving in the direction of something. The thing is, no matter what I do, or how much I achieve, there is always the underlying sense that it isn't quite enough. My ultimate dream is one I have been striving toward for as long as I can … [Read more...]

The freedom to be yourself

Life sometimes feels like it escapes me. I become so stuck in a whirlwind of thoughts about the past and the possible future that I find myself lost in the moment - unsure of what I actually want to experience. What would actually make me happy right now? In this moment? Begs the question ... What do you want to do? I ask myself this question often. What is it that I want? I truly thought I … [Read more...]

Inside my Anxious Mind – Are you sure?

This is post two in a five-part series called ‘inside my anxious mind’, within which I am exploring my experience with different aspects of anxiety. I love to be able to shift my perspective, and hope that my writing also helps you to shift yours. In this post I will be exploring the part of my mind which is constantly questioning me, and from which arises feelings of self-doubt and … [Read more...]

Inside my anxious mind – fears and dreams

This is the first post in a five-part series called 'inside my anxious mind', within which I am exploring my experience with different aspects of anxiety. It is my aim to discover a new perspective from which to view this behaviour. This first post will look at contrast - the space between what I want and what I fear, and the impulses that work to drive me away from the things that I want the … [Read more...]

Selective mutism – how my daughter helped me to heal

When my daughter was three years old, her pre-school teacher told me that she had never heard her speak. Immediately my mind spiralled out of control: I was terrified that she might follow in my footsteps, and selective mutism was not something I wanted my daughter to experience. Simon (my partner) reassured me that our daughter is not me. She is her own person with her own life, and her own … [Read more...]