“She’s a quiet wee thing” It’s a comment that describes one person’s experience of another.
Quiet – because in a room of twenty-something others, including many extroverts, it can be a struggle to connect with You. It can be a struggle to distinguish your own thoughts, feelings and energy from that of others – and this can be confusing.
I know. I’ve been there.
And because of the word I continuously heard to describe me I knew that I was quiet. Because of this, I became more so.
I didn’t realise I had a choice – each moment – to share or not to share. I just knew I was quiet. And so I didn’t share. I dreaded class discussions and I absolutely dreaded those moments where each class member had to read a small part of a book. I would work out where my bit was and practice and practice in my head; desperate to get it over with; desperate not to make a mistake.
When you are ‘quiet’ there seems to be an underlying pressure to be less so. There is the insinuation in the word ‘quiet’ that states ‘not good enough’, ‘needs to say more’, ‘should be sharing more of your self.’
It was there in my daughter’s school interview. ‘She’s a quiet wee thing’ was accompanied by the goal to ‘share more in class’. And just now, sitting here and reflecting upon the way these interviews work, I have just realised why I don’t like them.
I do believe in the power of goals. BUT …
… what about the power of talking about your strengths. Working together with your teacher to make the most of your strengths. To increase your ability to write stories (or whatever your strength may be) – because you are DAMN good at it, and who cares if other people don’t get to hear your voice yet in class discussions – There is an area where you shine, an area that you Love, an area where, right now, you want to be progressing within.
And when you begin to shine at something you love, well, that passion cannot help but spill out into other areas of your life.